30 Things Series - Number 1

One of the newest books which I have started reading has inspired me to start a blog series in response. The book, Thirty Things a Woman Should Have and Should Know by the Time She is 30, is based on a list by the same name.

Pamela Satran originally wrote the list for Glamour magazine. You can read more about that, as well as the list in its entirety here.

This blog series will be in response to each of the items on the list. I can't say for sure how often I'll post one of these responses, but I can promise to be very honest with what I write. Some responses will be harder to write than others.

Now, without further ado, I give you 30 Things - Number 1:

By 30, you should have ...


1. One old boyfriend you can imagine going back to and one who reminds you of how far you've come.

Before I just dive in and answer this one, I feel like it is important to figure out why it might be good for a woman to have one of each of these. It wouldn't be very telling for me to just list two names and move on to the next post.

It's harder to explain why it might be important to have an old boyfriend I could imagine going back to. I mean, really, if I could imagine going back to them, it ought to follow that I might as well just do that. However, my mom told me once that people break up for a reason and it is important to keep that reason in mind when thinking about the person with whom you broke up with. I suppose having someone you could imagine going back to should tell you that not all your decisions were bad. You should see that you had progressed from the one you dated who you can look back upon and see how far you've come. Perhaps it is meant to show you that you started dating people for the good person they are as opposed to any other reason.

With that being said, here goes. For anonymity's sake, I'm using initials. Those know me well shouldn't have much of an issue figuring out to whom I am referring.

I'd have to name DH as the man I could imagine going back to. He was truly a great guy. He respected me, treated me well, and supported my dreams. We were content. However, content is not enough. He lacked ambition and drive. He was also very negative about himself and the world around him. I cannot live with these things. Additionally, of marriage, he said he preferred a "Goldie Hawn-Kurt Russell" type of relationship. Not my thing. I have no ill feelings towards him and wish him nothing but the best. We simply weren't meant to be.

On the other hand, the boyfriend who reminds me of just how far I've come is obviously MK. Though a good laugh is important in life, it isn't the only thing in life. He had a fantastic sense of humor, was the epitome of romantic (in the mind of a teenager), and had ADHD in every aspect of his life. He had little attention span for school, work, or relationships. He still has yet to get that under control, based on what I can tell and have been told. People in my life tell me, "You're lucky it isn't you in that situation," when referring to him and his life. I have always responded that it never could have been me. I'm smarter than to allow myself to be put into the situations he has put himself and his family into. Though, when I was a teenager, and in what I thought was love, I might not have been smart enough. He definitely reminds me of just how far I've come in relationships.

I can't say it was easy to travel down memory lane to put this post into words and explain my thoughts behind my answers. However, after working on this post for about 3 days, I'm glad I did it. I expect the next few 30 Things posts to be much easier and fun. If you've made it to the end of this, thanks for reading. :)