My Midlife Crisis

After taking a moment to sit back and consider my life, I realized that I am having a midlife crisis.  Really, there's no need to panic - I think all of my "crazy" is actually what most would call normal.

When my mother had her midlife crisis, she bought tap shoes, a baton, and a hoola hoop.  She wore said shoes to work.  (I may need a pair...)

They looked something like these, if I recall correctly.

My midlife crisis looks like gardening, buying stocks instead of more shoes, planning out meals, and doing The Big Purge.  I'm not sure which one surprises me more.

As previously posted, I bought plants while out of my right mind.  12 out of 12 of the plants (Blue Hostas) in the front yard are happy and thriving.  The two butterfly trees I purchased are doing okay in the back yard.  I ordered 6 more plants - Mandarin Honeysuckle and Gardenia "frost proof" shrubs.   I really want a watering can and new water hoses. (WHO HAVE I BECOME?!)

I decided to start playing with the stock market.  Instead of buying more shoes I won't wear (I have over 60 pairs and rarely wear anything other than my tennies), I decided to buy stock.  I have no idea what I am doing, but I do know that I've already lost 42 cents in my first week of stock ownership.  It's bullshit, I say.

 While I was in El Paso, I bought a chalkboard weekly menu board with the intention of meal planning.  We typically go out 4/7 nights a week, with the remaining three spent ordering take out or fast food.  In an effort to increase our bank account balances and decrease our waistlines, the decision was made to eat in more often.

The Big Purge has begun.  I am a (recovering) make-up hoarder.  It took me two hours and several trash bags to clear out 2 of my make-up drawers.  I'm not done.  Next up will be my closet.  After that, the craft closet and office (summer project - gonna need time for that one).  

I don't know about most people's midlife crises, but I'm thinking it might be a good thing if mine become regular habits.

Nocturnal Gardening, Shovel Services, and the Mosquito Den of Creation

I know that had a fever and/or was highly medicated when I decided it would be a good idea to order live plants on the Internet.  I was in crazy mode and ordered all sorts of things for DIY house plans!  I also ordered wallpaper.  That's another story for another day.

I selected the plants based on the fact that the sale said that they would tolerate lots of water or drought (this equals I can ignore them).  Also, they're blue plants.

They're "Cool Blue Mix Hosta" plants, whatever that means.

They arrived yesterday with the instructions to plant immediately.  I've been really sick lately and Dan is still sick, which meant the planting had to be soon, but not immediately as suggested.  Dan and I set out for garden soil, gloves, a tiny shovel, and a kickboard to save my aging knees (32 is hard!).

By the time we got home from the store, it was after 9 pm and dark.  I sent Dan inside because he has the death plague.  I grabbed a rather large shovel and set out to work.

Let me sidebar for a moment - I've joked/"joked" with one of my friends for years that she has unlimited "shovel services" since we're such good friends.  This translates to I'll bury whomever she needs me to bury when the time comes.  I suppose, before tonight, I'd never really used a shovel seriously.  IT'S A LOT OF WORK.  While I know it will definitely mean more loose ends if we have to hire outside help for shovel services, that's where we are.  I had a hard enough time digging up the soil in the planters by my front door to mix it with the gardening soil.  I absolutely doubt my abilities to dig a large hole.  So, all shovel services are officially cancelled.

Must be great at digging holes

Back to my nocturnal gardening adventure.  I managed to get 2 of the 4 bags of soil put out and mixed in with the stuff that was already there.  I planted the dang live root plant things.  I watered them.  I cleaned up (most of) my mess.  

All the while, I was thinking that it was amazing that I was not being bothered by the legions of mosquitoes which guard my front door.  Anyone who has been to my house knows that the front door area of my house is the Mosquito Den of Creation - where all mosquitoes come from.  They swarm even when it is chilly.

The entire time I was out there, not a single mosquito even came near enough for me to hear its high pitched buzz.  I was seriously impressed by the bracelet things I bought from Big Lots for $0.95 each.  I bought two and stuck one on each wrist.  Totally worked.  I highly recommend these things if you're going to exist in the outside world with mosquitoes.  

Buy these!  Buy all of these if you see them!  They work!

I'll update at some point with pictures of the plants, should they ever actually grow into things with leaves.  For now, I am going to go celebrate my nocturnal gardening accomplishments with some Easter clearance blue Peeps.